Tag Archives: Exam

BEDA 16 – In which I try to depict my evening


There are thousands of people in this hall. It is absolutely silent. Row upon row of teenagers and twenty-somethings are sitting at their tables, waiting for an announcement

Just moments before, it wasn’t so quiet. People chatted nervously, asked last-minute questions about when this was published or who that author was, and dashed for the washrooms at the back of the hall. One girl, huddled over her desk, even lit up a cigarette, and smoked it without any of the professors or TAs noticing.

But when the exams started being passed out, silence fell over the giant hall. Anticipation mixed with nervousness was thick in the air. The setting sun streamed in from the windows on the far side of the hall, glinting on the backs of the metallic chairs. We have two hours to write the exam. An essay and four mini-essays.

“Raise your hand if you don’t have an exam yet,” a voice booms. An entire section of people in the back-right corner raise their hands. The TA in charge of handing out their papers turns red, and looks down. He quickens his pace.

We start writing a few minutes later. We all scan through the assignment, and read our options. Some of us are glad: we’ll pass the class. Others aren’t.

Fifteen minutes for each mini-essay. One hour for the full essay. Not impossible.

Scour your brain for the answers. The Book of the City of Ladies. 1409. No. 1405. 1427. 1409. Trust your gut, Nicole.

Who wrote about Universities? Doesn’t matter. That’s one point out of 80. Just write. Why do you remember that was written in 1873, but not the guy’s name? Don’t think about that. Write.

The sound of two-thousand pens scratching on two-thousand papers is distracting. It’s hard to concentrate. You get stuck on one word, reading it over and over again. Circumcision. Why? It’s not even an important word. It doesn’t matter. Move on.

The essay. Try and construct a thesis. Truth. Fact. Non-fiction. Non-fiction is hard to write. There. That’s the thesis. Build on it. Um. Truth is hard to understand. No. It is hard to depict truth. No. Whole truths cannot be represented. Closer. “To bake an apple pie from scratch you must first invent the universe.” Why am–Oh. Okay. Because of the complex nature of truth, it cannot be portrayed in its entirety through literature. Non-fiction is hard to write.

Some people leave early. Some people are there to the very end. It doesn’t matter. It’s over.

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BEDA 15 – Christine de Pizan


I’ve been rereading Christine de Pizan’s The City of Ladies* today, because I have an English exam tomorrow evening which I’m wildly unprepared for. (Pizan’s going to be on the exam. I’m not just procrastinating.) But anyways! I’d say that the first 2/3 of the book is good. Great, even! I’m all for female empowerment! (Like, seriously, I’ve been on an odd amount of feminist rants lately.) But then it goes downhill. Quickly.

In the last third, all Pizan seems to talk about is martyrdom, and women who killed themselves for a cause. It gets tiring, hearing about all of these women who were supposedly empowered because they killed themselves after being raped. I can understand the desire to commit suicide, absolutely. Especially after something as traumatizing as rape. But come on! That doesn’t show female empowerment! And they weren’t killing themselves because they weren’t able to live with the trauma of rape. They were killing themselves because they were no longer chaste.

Plus, there are a few stories of women who killed themselves after their husbands died. Again, I can understand the urge to commit suicide. But seriously! These stories don’t belong in a book about empowerment! That the idea of living without a man is so repellent that you can’t bear it? Better to die than to live unwed?

And I know, I know, it was a different time. 1405 was a while ago. But it still irks me, I guess. I’m still allowed to be mad, right? Like when old people are racist? As my mum says, “It explains; it doesn’t excuse.”

*I should probably specify that I’m reading the abridged Penguin: Great Ideas version of the book.